is this thing on?

hello!

what follows is less of an introduction and more of an explanation, because i am constantly hounded by the need to explain myself & it seems this great blank expanse of a blog is no different.

i'm not so terrified of sincerity or earnestness as i am of vulnerability. there's one kind of vulnerability that exists in late-night heartfelt conversations and another entirely in putting myself on display in all my raw unfinishedness. the first i'm intimately familiar with, the second wakes me up in the dead of night still with the kind of nightmares i had as a kid about walking into school and realizing i'm just in my underwear. being seen is such a horrifying part of the human condition.

but! i made a promise to myself in the face of the (looming) new decade, and that is to be try and be less afraid of being. or, more specifically, being seen being.

so, here i am.

published december 29, 2019

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